


safe place

by ensembledesétoiles (Tsundeyama)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Atsumu Being Best Boyfriend, Being an Exhausted Student TM, Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, online classes AU, pandemic au, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28977567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsundeyama/pseuds/ensembledes%C3%A9toiles
Summary: he could live knowing that he is your safe space.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	safe place

he hasn’t seen you cry in forever, and it is the first time he sees you in the middle of a panic : he knows you can get upset sometimes but you only ever _told_ him, almost jokingly, and he had wondered if it was really as bad when you seemed to laugh your breakdowns off so easily.

_oh shit, this is bad —_ he realizes now, as you sob uncontrollably in front of him, torrents of tears steaming down your face.and loud wails leaving your lips when you tell him that you _can’t._ « it is too much, tsumu. i am tired of even waking up in the morning, i just want things to fucking end. »

and you do, most of the time. but you also work very hard to not make any mistakes. you _cope_ with your dark thoughts the best you can but it has gotten harder with everything happening in the world : a pandemic, a lockdown, online classes... how are you expected to clear your mind when you can barely go outside and meet your friends to have them lift your spirits ?

atsumu feels both guilty and relieved : thank god he decided to drop by today but why hasn’t he done that before ? maybe you wouldn’t be in such a state if he visited you sooner. « babe _no._ » he says, not knowing what else to tell you, stopping himself midway as he wants to reach out to hug you. « you’re fine, baby. everything is fine. » or not as bad as you think... he doesn’t even know what got you in this state anyway but it can’t be so bad. « just breathe okay ? try to calm down... do you have a safe space you can go to right now ? to take your mind off—»

_okay_ , he thinks as you collapse into him, arms wrapped tightly around his waist. he hadn’t been talking about a physical space and more of a mental memory but he could take it. he could live knowing that he is your safe space. you hide your face in the crook of his neck, inhale a deep but shaky breath as your tears fall against his warm skin. he hugs you back, tightly. maybe you’ll stop shaking.

you are so used to atsumu’s scent, it’s almost your own now — you’ve stolen jackets and spare jerseys and hoodies, shirts and everything that passed between your greedy, needy fingers and which he had been so kind as to give you (he never says no, because when he sees you in his clothes, it feels like you are _his_ ), each item a little piece of him taken home with you until you can make a home with him, _of him_ , but there isn’t anything that can compare to his skin.

it’s a whole experience, getting to nuzzle into the crook of his neck, inhale the sun, the warmth, the spices. atsumu smells like what you would expect a man to smell like, and the musky scent always has you heady — or maybe it’s just the way healways holds you closer when you snuggle against him, as if you were still too far away from him. he holds you tight until you stop shaking, and pulls away just enough to be able to cup your face and wipe the tears away with his sleeve, not caring about the stains.

you look absolutely adorable with your red little nose and your red little cheeks, and atsumu notes that it’s kind of unfair, that you are a pretty crier when he looks like shit when he does (and he does it often, his nerves way more fragile than yours). « i’m sorry i didn’t visit sooner. » he says, though it isn’t his fault. he has classes too, training also... you shouldn’t be his priority, and you would feel bad if he dropped everything for your sake. it feels nice to have him here though. « come on, let’s get you a change of scenery. no mentions of academics today nor tomorrow. you are on break now. » and you can practically the sparkles emojis before and after ‘break’ when he says it in his dramatic way. « what do you want to do ? »

« cuddles. » you answer, collapsing back into his chest. « i just want you to cuddle me all day, all night, everyday until i die. » you hear him laugh, but still drag you to the bed of your small student’s room, cuddles are a thing he can do, and he is the absolute best at them.

it takes you less than five minutes to relax in his arms, all concerns of online assignments gone. you are asleep in ten, softly snoring against his chest as atsumu simply smiles and pats your head, smoothing out the soft curls of your hair.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm really sorry, i just need to vent a lot lately ???? online classes and assignments are killing me, i'm so close to graduating uni and getting my dream job but i'm just ??? so tired and i lowkey want to drop out of school so i'm catering my depression and creating scenarios in which atsumu is my perfect boyfriend and is holding my mental health in his hands.


End file.
